Driving on our way home, my wife and I leisurely exchanged ideas about the most recent fight among our folks. What else is new? Domestic chaos is like seasoning to some members of our family. For this reason, I once said to an inquisitive former girlfriend, "Please do not ask anything about my family. I have nothing to be proud about."
Growing up, I learned to be immune to disorder and have even perfected the art of detecting any upcoming red flags. It may be unhealthy, but in my case, it was essential. Time always proved me right.
A few years ago, I got entangled in an affair involving my folks, something I have been vehemently avoiding like a plague. Since my old self knew nothing about retreating, things became a lot messy. Although I was not into it to win the battle, I was engaged to enlighten the guerrillas about the shameful turn of events.
In the heart of it all was my grandmother. She was infamous among her children because of the way she treated her father, husband, and kids. Anyway, my contention was for the children not to take revenge. If they want to distance themselves, then go; however, to treat a person horribly is barbaric. I suggested that if they cannot embrace their mother like a human being, at least, care for her like a pet. Yes, a brutal analogy indeed. If they cannot love her, respect her. Sadly, they did not get my point. I became the bad guy.
I am no saint, but the aforesaid gruesome event is something that the elderly should never show their kids. When faced with similar circumstances, you would not want your kids to do the same. Now, the cycle has been repeating itself again and again among siblings because they did not have a better example. Could it be common sense not being common after all? Values formation? Blinded by what? Ruled by whom?
I have not seen my grandmother in years. I respect her. I love her, but I had to distance myself because I love my wife and kids more.
Growing up, I learned to be immune to disorder and have even perfected the art of detecting any upcoming red flags. It may be unhealthy, but in my case, it was essential. Time always proved me right.
A few years ago, I got entangled in an affair involving my folks, something I have been vehemently avoiding like a plague. Since my old self knew nothing about retreating, things became a lot messy. Although I was not into it to win the battle, I was engaged to enlighten the guerrillas about the shameful turn of events.
In the heart of it all was my grandmother. She was infamous among her children because of the way she treated her father, husband, and kids. Anyway, my contention was for the children not to take revenge. If they want to distance themselves, then go; however, to treat a person horribly is barbaric. I suggested that if they cannot embrace their mother like a human being, at least, care for her like a pet. Yes, a brutal analogy indeed. If they cannot love her, respect her. Sadly, they did not get my point. I became the bad guy.
I am no saint, but the aforesaid gruesome event is something that the elderly should never show their kids. When faced with similar circumstances, you would not want your kids to do the same. Now, the cycle has been repeating itself again and again among siblings because they did not have a better example. Could it be common sense not being common after all? Values formation? Blinded by what? Ruled by whom?
I have not seen my grandmother in years. I respect her. I love her, but I had to distance myself because I love my wife and kids more.
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2 comments:
Isn't it rather strange how mothers seem to talk to their children about their old folks? This blog entry of yours made me aware of it.
Indeed, it is a mistake, as there is usually one part of the parental side which is not respected nor loved. And you are absolutely right that our kids will treat us one day following our examples of treating our own elderly family. I don't think men share such feelings as much as women do. They also seem to be more capable of living solitary lives when elderly.
hi Gabriele,
thanks for dropping by. i hope people close to me would hear your thoughts and reflect.
cheers!
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