Saturday, November 28, 2009

Who's bad?

Driving on our way home, my wife and I leisurely exchanged ideas about the most recent fight among our folks. What else is new? Domestic chaos is like seasoning to some members of our family. For this reason, I once said to an inquisitive former girlfriend, "Please do not ask anything about my family. I have nothing to be proud about."

Growing up, I learned to be immune to disorder and have even perfected the art of detecting any upcoming red flags. It may be unhealthy, but in my case, it was essential. Time always proved me right.

A few years ago, I got entangled in an affair involving my folks, something I have been vehemently avoiding like a plague. Since my old self knew nothing about retreating, things became a lot messy. Although I was not into it to win the battle, I was engaged to enlighten the guerrillas about the shameful turn of events.

In the heart of it all was my grandmother. She was infamous among her children because of the way she treated her father, husband, and kids. Anyway, my contention was for the children not to take revenge. If they want to distance themselves, then go; however, to treat a person horribly is barbaric. I suggested that if they cannot embrace their mother like a human being, at least, care for her like a pet. Yes, a brutal analogy indeed. If they cannot love her, respect her. Sadly, they did not get my point. I became the bad guy.

I am no saint, but the aforesaid gruesome event is something that the elderly should never show their kids. When faced with similar circumstances, you would not want your kids to do the same. Now, the cycle has been repeating itself again and again among siblings because they did not have a better example. Could it be common sense not being common after all? Values formation? Blinded by what? Ruled by whom?

I have not seen my grandmother in years. I respect her. I love her, but I had to distance myself because I love my wife and kids more.

Saturday, November 21, 2009

Way out of stress

We all have our unique ways of managing tension. My style is to not think about the source of anxiety, but it does not work all the time. It never will. Life's problems are so complex; you cannot simply ignore them.

Whenever my stress level rises, I seek refuge either at the spa, for a decent Swedish massage or the gym. The latter does not involve any cost; hence, I can engage freely. On the other hand, a trip to the spa usually requires a bit of negotiation with my financial officer, Shiela. I almost forgot, she also happens to be my wife.

It has been two months now since I last went for a massage. Surely, I miss the euphoria of a relaxing touch therapy. Lately, however, I have been indecisive. The negotiating part, as mentioned earlier, is another form of stress. Additionally, someone talked me out of it.

Shiela usually deals with tension by harnessing with her loyalists. They conspire their way out of her misery. Could have they, at some point, plotted against me? Just kidding. Anyway, if the committee could not convene, my wife would end up finding solace... at the spa. The irony of it all! Poor me, she stashed away all the loose change.

Then, there are those who walk their way out of anxiety. Some people pop a pill and sleep on it. While others bake and mix flour with anything, one batter after another. How about you?

Sunday, November 8, 2009

Women and their fallible instinct

My wife and I exercise a system of open privacy. We enjoy unrestricted access to each other's letters, emails, phones, wallets, bank accounts, and so forth. It did not happen overnight though. It was more of an evolution, mainly a result of my unspoken approval.

While our practice is not universal, neither of us complained about it. If you have nothing to hide in the confines of your relationship, overriding the rules of privacy may appear suitable. However, it has its demons. I am afraid it is too late to exorcise them.

The riddle with open privacy, especially when the parameters are not clear, is context. Without a clear understanding of the circumstances relevant to an issue, instinct eclipses logic. Humans are supposed to be cognitive beings. Things are not hard-wired in us like animals. We have to gather information and process them through volitional effort.

Often, my wife and I get into disagreements because of our flagging system of open privacy. For instance, should you nag about a text message that no one has control over? Anyway, I do not see myself winning any of our trivial battles because she will always choose to believe in what she thinks. Maybe all she sees is my past, or should we start talking about PRIVACY?

My stock picking argument: History is not an indication of future performance.

Saturday, November 7, 2009

Tell Me Your Name

By Jose Mari Chan

Tell me your name you're lovely
Please tell me your name
Just when I thought
This would be one of those boring games
You walked into these feelings
You looked at me and smiled
My heart unfroze and started going wild

Can you imagine this
The confusion of
First love's kiss
A return to wondering
If the magic of love was this
You merely said hello
And my mind did a stop and go
Can it possibly be
The future for me is you

Tell me your name
I must know
Won't you tell me your name
I'm not insane
Just frightened that you might go
Don't go please stay beside me
Wait until I can tell you all my schemes
Chasing rainbows spinning dreams
Finding someone to love like you

I'm not insane
Just frightened that you might go
Don't go please stay beside me
Wait until I can tell you all my schemes
Chasing rainbows spinning dreams
Tell me please your name
Tell me

*A friend's favorite