Sunday, November 8, 2009

Women and their fallible instinct

My wife and I exercise a system of open privacy. We enjoy unrestricted access to each other's letters, emails, phones, wallets, bank accounts, and so forth. It did not happen overnight though. It was more of an evolution, mainly a result of my unspoken approval.

While our practice is not universal, neither of us complained about it. If you have nothing to hide in the confines of your relationship, overriding the rules of privacy may appear suitable. However, it has its demons. I am afraid it is too late to exorcise them.

The riddle with open privacy, especially when the parameters are not clear, is context. Without a clear understanding of the circumstances relevant to an issue, instinct eclipses logic. Humans are supposed to be cognitive beings. Things are not hard-wired in us like animals. We have to gather information and process them through volitional effort.

Often, my wife and I get into disagreements because of our flagging system of open privacy. For instance, should you nag about a text message that no one has control over? Anyway, I do not see myself winning any of our trivial battles because she will always choose to believe in what she thinks. Maybe all she sees is my past, or should we start talking about PRIVACY?

My stock picking argument: History is not an indication of future performance.

8 comments:

Lauren said...

Whatever works! It sounds romantic, but it all depends upon how content is interpreted. What's innocuous to you may be perceived as harmful by her.

I love your honesty and your blog. I love thought provoking blogs.

Angelia said...

Hmm, interesting post. I agree in complete openness as well. But I don't think it's fair to draw conclusions, rather with prayer and genuine desire to seek truth, search your own heart.

I'm not saying she is wrong, but she should consider the fact that you do leave everything open and that makes it very unlikely you would be deserving of any fallibility.

Just my two cents.

Prodigal Son 35 said...

hi Lauren,

thanks for dropping by. your comment made me think.

cheers!

Prodigal Son 35 said...

hi Angelia,

i have been wrong quite a number of times...

thanks for the advice.

cheers!

zoe858 said...

You sound like a funny couple, if it works...it works.

Prodigal Son 35 said...

hi zoe858,

we try, as much as we can, to be a happy couple. it is fun trying... trying to be fun.

cheers!

Gabriele said...

I don't believe that absolutely everything should be shared in a marital relationship. A bit of mystery keeps the fires of passion fed. It provides no roaring flames but helps. Maintaining anything even remotely resembling passion is not easy in a marriage where everything gets automatically stale by habit. And as you say, there is the danger of context. Nobody than yourself can be the judge of an action related to a specific context. So, never tell it all...

Prodigal Son 35 said...

hi Gabriele,

thanks for the tip. anything that will help...

cheers!