Drama prince

Watching the tail end of a drama series wherein the husband loses his wife to an illness brought me back in time.

Not so long ago, I lost my aunt Cely to cancer. May her soul rest in peace. Anyway, for a moment, she was a surrogate mother to me. A good mom to a (prodigal) son. However, at that time, I did not fully appreciate aunt Cely's deeds. I must admit, I was a very difficult child. Sorry, tita. I may have mindlessly forgotten to say it, but I honestly do love you.

I vividly recall one depressing morning when our family gathered at her place to pray. As she laid in her bed, my mom started praying. Tears were flowing except mine. I was breaking down inside but held back. I wanted to be strong for aunt Cely. I did not want her to feel helpless, although that was really the case. It came to "amen," and I hurriedly went for the sink to wash away my tears. I remember crying like a baby. Her time has come.

As written in my previous posts, I do not believe in grieving over the death of a loved one. I did not lie. On the other hand, the drama series made me realize that I am human after all. I went through sorrow once before; the thought of it happening again... I do not want to entertain it. I simply cannot.

I phone home

Out of necessity, I always carry with me two phones: for work and personal use. The gadgets are not much to speak of. They are the cheapest and most basic units available in the market. In fact, I would often joke about them being anti-theft. While I can afford to lose my phones, the crooks will surely be reluctant to pocket them.

As far as technology is concerned, my needs are simple: My phone has to be capable of voice calling and text messaging. Anything in excess is too techie for me. My wife twice tried to persuade me to graduate into something decent, only to see me rush back to convenience store-available models. I just could not market fashionable phones to my conservative self.

One of our staff members, maybe the most techie one, carries something 15 to 20 times more expensive than my ever reliable poverty-edition phone. Of course, hers came with all the bells and whistles. Pretty techie! Last week, however, she got too techie for comfort that we almost sacked her. Like a paparazzi, she used her beautiful iPhone to sneakily photograph one of our VIP clients in a very defenseless situation.

Should we blame technological advancement? It may have contributed, but I do not think so. It is not the machine but the operator.

My phones, as I have said, are cheap and basic. Yet, sometime ago, I used it to travel continents to hurt someone I love, my aunt Janet. I regret falling victim to the power of technology. Even more, I regret having acted in such a way. It could have been someone else, all the same, I should not have been wicked. We have kissed and made up, but like shattered glass, it could not be fixed to perfection. How sad, we could not get back where we left off.

I learned, painfully, that both man and machine should have signal.

Marriage as a partnership

Nine years ago, I decided to exchange wedding vows because I thought I finally found someone capable of handling a difficult man like me. I did not err. It was the right decision; however, it was a selfish one. It was all about me.

Marriage is a partnership. The parties involved are supposed to complement each other, not to exploit one's weakness. On that criterion, I am not a good partner. I was not.

My wife and I are now treading our 10th year. While I am unlearning selfishness, I am slowly developing into a proper partner. The once thorny relationship is progressively turning rosy.

More than me, we.

To be at one's beck and call

Around 8am yesterday, my phone rang. It was my client. I had to ignore him. I could not be bothered. It was a public holiday, so I decided to sleep in. A few minutes later, I got another call. Half asleep, I crawled toward my phone to check on the caller. It was the same client. My wife suggested that I take it, but I reasoned that the client was not on my calendar. Shortly, I was back under the sheets.

An hour later, I woke up of my own accord. Fully conscious, the first thing I did was return my client's call. He did not pick up; I expected that. I sent him a text and got a reply. Everything was okay. We have an appointment on Monday.

Most of my clients are rich and powerful. They are used to calling the shots. People around them are supposed to be submissive, or else... the highway. The perks of affluence. However, being their contractor, I do not allow them such luxury. I do not mind taking the highway, and I let it be felt. I am never at their beck and call.

A friend once said, "Most people would be willing to pay if only to have a 15-minute audience with a VIP." Unfortunately, I am not most people. In fact, I usually make myself scarce. Regardless of who the client is, I will have to get back to them if they wish to rearrange an appointment. I am sure they hate it, but they will have to get used to it.

We do not need to be affluent to have dignity; however, we have to realize it.

Greed over less

I worked a total of 71 hours last month, roughly 3.55 hours a day. Meager, yet I whined about being used up. Last May (my best and most productive month), I logged 51 hours and still complained. Could it be laziness? Not quite. I am an Ox.

My goal is not to work long and hard. I despise it. I prefer short and sweet. The vision is to get as much done through others. The route will allow me to accomplish more in less time. It has to be; otherwise, I will see myself as a failure.

I reckon that I should be more appreciative of the fact that I am able to get by.

Segregated standards

Stefanie, my kindergarten daughter, is enjoying every minute of school life. I thought she would give her teachers and classmates hell, but she proved me wrong. Her discipline in class is nothing short of immaculate. Stefanie must have left the chaos at home, like most of us.

I must admit, I used to follow different sets of ethical standards: professional and personal. It was never my intention to be a better person outside our family home, but it somehow exhibited. Segregated standards, anyone? Quite shameful!

If I am capable of forming business partnerships, I should be able to strengthen basic bonds with relative ease. As approachable as I am at work, regardless of my mood, my family should have an even better access. A staunch professional ally, I should be able to display unimpeachable loyalty to my spouse. If I could lead a team, why cannot I lead myself?

Stefanie is a preschooler. I am not. She will learn ethics soon. I may not see soon anymore. I have to do good now. Just good.

Mind of a married man (?), part 2

ON COMMUNICATION

Wife: My husband and I need to talk.
Husband: If it is not a matter of life and death, it could wait. After checking my email would be good.

Wife: I really need to talk to him. As a matter of fact, it has to be now.
Husband: I will be done real soon. In the meantime, I will have my wife jot down the agenda. She can send it either through fax or email.

Wife: I cannot seem to get through my husband's mobile phone.
Husband: I just could not be bothered. Either I am in a meeting or mating. If I am idle, I still could not be bothered.

ON SOCIALS

Wife: It is my friend's birthday. I will bring my husband to the party.
Husband: I might be sick on the said date.

Wife: My folks are expecting us.
Husband: They are our folks. If we cannot make it, they will surely understand.

Wife: My husband rarely goes out on socials. He is all work.
Husband: My work is public. My socials are extremely private. I work on both occasions.

ON BUSINESS

Wife: That client could not be ringing my husband. My husband is no longer connected with the company.
Husband: Women are instinctively smart.

Wife: Of all the women he has worked or partnered with, I do not trust them all.
Husband: It is never a good idea to mix business with pleasure. Never again (?)

Now...
Wife: Business is good. My husband seems to be straight.
Husband: It is good to be straight. I still miss the days though.