My Achilles Heel

I am the first to admit that my Achilles Heel is finding pleasure in the company of women. No, I am not a social creature. On the contrary, I am very private. Let us just say that I am what you would call as intimately hospitable.

The aforesaid was my life then. My fascination for women was not just contained between my ears, it had to be brought to fruition between my legs. If an opportunity presented itself, I was there to take hold of it. If there was none, I would create one. Back then, I was lucky to have made things happen.

What about my emotions? I was never into fooling around with emotions. I was there for the moment, for the carnage. What about their emotions? I would say, I was gone sooner than it all started. It was clear to them that I was not into it for the long haul.

Now, I have somehow straightened out my life. While I am struggling to keep my mischief in my head, so far, I have been successful.

Missing Dad

If my memory serves me right, I grew up with mom alone from the time I was 2 years old. Hence, I cannot really tell the difference between living with and without a father. You may say that it is quite a sad story, but to be honest, I do not know. It is like doing an impossible mathematical equation: dividing zero by something.

Two years ago, my family (wife and daughter) and I met up with my biological father. It was the 3rd meeting, as far as I can recall, since he left home. If you were to ask me how it felt, frankly, it was like being introduced to a new friend. How I wish that it felt differently, but how can one miss something that was non-existent?

Anyway, now I am happy that at least I have gotten to know my roots. My feelings though are still in limbo, confused as to how paternal love should be received and reciprocated. I would say I miss having a dad, like most normal families.

My advice to kids who take their parents for granted is to seize the moment, cherish mom and dad's presence. You will never know what you will be missing.

Dad enough

It takes a lot for me to shed a tear, not because I am a man, but due to circumstances in life that have numbed my emotions. However, when it comes to my kids, they just take my breath away. Make no mistake, I am not a good dad. I probably am more remiss than most fathers when it comes to responsibilities.

Seeing my eldest daughter for the first time was truly rewarding. I even recall not feeling any hunger at all in her presence. The experience though later turned into torment when I realized that we could not be together; she had to be with her mom in America. It was arguably one of my lowest and most depressing points.

With my youngest daughter, I saw myself crying again today. I had to discpline her for something that she did, but as it turned out, I ended up more hurt than her. Imagine sitting down with a sweet 3 year old, asking for forgiveness, and telling her how much you love her. She was in tears when she replied, "It's OK, dad. I still love you."

I really wish I could be a better dad. My babies, dad is working on it.

The Job in you

Are you familiar with the story of Job? Anyway, God referred to him as an honest and innocent man, honoring God and staying away from evil. The Lord even proudly mentioned that no one on earth was like him. For being righteous, Job was blessed both spiritually and materially. Until one day when God allowed Satan to have power over him to test his faith, to inflict pain, but not to take away his life.

The trial that Job had to go through was unfathomable. In one day he lost his children, flocks and herds, and servants. On another day, he developed painful sores from the top of his head to the soles of his feet. The misfortune has led his wife to suggest that he curse the Lord and die, but Job's faith remained resolute. "Should we take only good things from God and not trouble?" was his reply. For not compromising his faith, Job was later blessed with even more.

Hearing Job's story made me feel so unworthy of the Lord's blessings. Job accepted adversity as he would welcome good fortune, while I would complain of the slightest discomfort. My faith compared to Job's was like night and day, yet I have the audacity to demand a lot from God.

What I learned from the story: To live in righteousness means that you will have to endure suffering. The Lord often examines our faith to see if we are truly worthy of his love. Material wealth, although necessary for sustenance, is immaterial. Spiritual wealth is what will lead us to the comfort of God's embrace.

Infidelity to your partner

Infidelity can manifest itself through several mediums: thought, speech, and action. Admittedly, I have been guilty at some point in my life and regret having fallen into the trap. The mistake may feel good while it lasts, but guilt will find its way sooner than you thought.

Infidelity is wicked. The more you do it, the greater the satisfaction. The cycle can be really vicious. Is it really true that what your partner does not know would not hurt? Not quite. Unknowingly, the grand plan that you have been executing discreetly has been hurting the people you love.

Infidelity violates the 2nd most important commandment: Love your neighbor as you love yourself. Do not be on the wrong side of the law.